Kind Words for the Mom-to-Be

This is from one of my weekly emails. I thought some of these points were dead-on correct, but some of them are pretty amusing!!

Understand pregnancy for what it is: A wonderful and beautiful experience, wrapped up in a colossal shift in hormones! Not only is the mom-to-be dealing with the uncomfortable symptoms of pregnancy, but also with anxieties and fears of motherhood. Expecting moms need a tremendous amount of compassion and support throughout the nine months of her pregnancy, and beyond. Here are a few things to keep in mind when offering advice, support or suggestions to a mom-to-be:

On the Issue of Pregnancy and Postpartum Weight

What to Say (With Sincerity)

• Honey, you look terrific!
• Pregnancy becomes you.
• You need to gain weight, our baby's well-being depends on it!
• Honey, you just had a baby! You look great for just having a baby!
• You're having our baby! That automatically makes you beautiful!

What NOT to Say

• Wow, you're BIG for____months!
• Well, at least people know you're pregnant!
• Should you be eating that? You don't want to gain too much weight.
• Hey, try breastfeeding! That should take the weight off!
• Oh, I didn't realize you already had your baby!

On the Issue of Bottle Feeding vs. Breastfeeding

What to Say

• Whatever you decide to do. The baby will be healthy either way.
• Let's take a breastfeeding class together.
• I know a friend who's breastfeeding her child. I'll put you in touch with her.
• There are lots of great formulas out there for you to choose from.
• Breastfeeding is a beautiful experience to enjoy with your baby.

What NOT to Say

• Breastfeeding is for mothers who are too cheap to buy formula.
• I wouldn't breastfeed if I were you. I tried for three months and gave up because it was too hard.
• Formula is unhealthy for babies. He'll be sick all the time.
• Mothers who love their babies breastfeed their babies.
• Breastfeeding is "dirty" and perverted, especially if done in public.

On the Issue of Child Rearing

What to Say

• I would love to give you advice on anything you need. Just let me know.
• I've got some great books on parenting. Would you like to borrow them?
• Let's take a parenting class together. That way, we can be prepared.
• Parenthood is challenging, but I know you'll be great at it!
• Follow your heart. You know what's best for your child.

What NOT to Say

• Well, here is what I (my mother, Aunt Mabel, Dr. So-and-So, etc.) think/thinks is best for your baby.
• This is the only book worth reading on parenting!
• Just you wait when this baby is born; you'll see how difficult parenting is!
• Always/Never pamper your children, give them time outs, etc. (In fact, eradicate the words "always" and "never" from your vocabulary when discussing parenting!)
• Well, if I were you...

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